Do you think some of us run away from intensity? Father, forgive me.
I know I have been away for some time - I have had a rollercoaster ride of a few months! And boy, do I mean that. I had supervisor problems - race, being one of them. I have learnt that people everywhere can be racist and not. I have learnt that I have a lot to learn - at least in so far as blinder-ing myself to what others do and don't do that strikes me as so wrong. And I've also become a lot humbler in thinking that I am not above certain emotions...
I am so mad when people say 'I want a black/white guy' or 'International students are not as intellectually capable'... People, that second sentence is a whole story but not for here and now! I went through years of being mad at members of extended (and not so extended) family being caste/colour/race-prejudice-ridden. White people aren't different. I'm saying white because, in post-colonial India, they used to be the other. Political correctness is all very well, and I love us all, but for the purpose of this blog, can I just call us by our colours? I am brown. There are shades of us. And black and olive and white. It gets me somewhere deep inside and twists my gut in a pre-sick feeling when I hear it being called 'our culture' - when what they mean is our race/nationality.
Are we really that different?
We're loving whatever our colour. We're racist whatever our colour.
I had an interesting class this morning. One student called another 'not Chinese deep inside your heart' because she had learned English at a young age and so 'was corrupted by Western culture'. Another crime was watching 'Western' movies and listening to the music.
I hurt. She hurt, but she was the bigger person. It hurts. And the more you hurt, the more you grow. Why must this be?
i feel the same way...i was racist too, in my heart, although at the time i didnt know it. growing up in a culture where people tell you this is better than that or "that is SOOOO nice!!! " i just didnt know the whys and whats.
ReplyDeleteNow in hindsight i see in so many ways i was TAUGHT to be racist.
Just the other day i had to correct a friend who called someone in a picture " chinky"...i KNOW what she meant and she didnt mean it in a mean way...but it was mean...and the fact that she said it showed the lack of consideration..
im starting to see more and more how racist Indians can be...among their own people..its sad.